#‎DearMrMan‬ 4


Dear Mr Man,

Yes, it is me again.

Without wasting too much time, I want to quickly talk about women. I love women. A lot. In fact, it took me a long time to finally accept this truth about myself, but as soon as I did, I embraced it. I love women.

What about you? Do you love women?

No, you miss the point, Mr Man. I am not talking about girls. I am talking about women. No, not age. I am talking about a certain kind of essence and maturity women have but girls don’t. There’s just something unique and powerful about women.

Girls are often attracted to boys. Women are often attracted to men. Ok, some girls may be attracted to men too. But women are rarely attracted to boys.

You, who do you attract? Which do you find attractive, girls or women?

Could you do yourself a favour? Assess the female[s] in your life. Are they girls or women?

You will know know a woman by the quality of the conversations you have. Girls talk nonsense, only nonsense and nothing but nonsense. And boys love that. But men understand the value of time and purpose. So they connect with women who have a destination.

[If you request, I shall send you a list that details the other differences between girls and women].

You see, there is that kind of man that carries a bucket of poop on his head and is complaining about flies. The flies are not the problem. Your heap of poop is the problem. Get rid of the poop, and the flies would go away.

Who you are determines the kinds of females which you find attractive and who are attracted to you.

Why do you keep complaining that the girls in your life are “hoes”? Are you a cutlass? Why do you complain of gold diggers? Are you a labourer? Why do you complain that the females in your life have fish brain? Are you a tilapia?

Mr Man, change who you are and the people you attract will change.

Grow up.

#‎DearMrMan‬ 3


Dear Mr Man,

Today, again, let us be a little more blunt, shall we?

What do you see females as? Walking sex tools existing for the sole reason of satiating your sexual perversions?

When you see a lady, what are the very first things that occur to you? That she is okay or not, depending on the size of her breasts or the sheer volume of her butts? Do you reduce her to her sexual organs? Do you plot the shortest way between her and your bed?

Mr Man, is this all you see? Then you are blind.

Is this what you do? Then you are despicable.

And shame on you.

You should have a brain. And it should be in your head, not down there.

I do know that there are girls who are hare-brained enough to think that the entire expression of their whole being is trapped in their sexuality; who understand that their only claim to sustained interest is in putting their bodies on display.

But this is not about them, Mr Man. This is about YOU. What happened to building your women and enhancing their dreams? What happened to being a support and an enabler? What happened to being invested in bringing out the very best in your woman and being self assured enough to not be intimidated when she begins to soar higher than your imagination? What happened to being the man she can call at any time of day or night and she knows that you would not only listen to her, but you would give sensible solutions to her deeply troubling questions?

Mr Man, what happened to being a man?

Are you man enough to be a man?

#Deep Thoughts 26

oregon_humanities_editorial_illoIS EXPERIENCE REALLY IMPORTANT? 4

1. There are people who have experienced several things but have not learned anything of value that should be transferred as knowledge. Some of them have even experienced appreciable success but don’t even know what they did to get there, how they got there or what principles worked for them.

But they share what they THINK worked for them, peddling false knowledge that may backfire on another person who tries it.

2. Then there are people who have knowledge of principles without experiencing it themselves. They will tell you what Einstein said, and what Lincoln did. They will describe how Gandhi lived and how Mother Theresa died. And then, based on someone else’s experience, they tell you how you too can make your own life great.

Like the street book hawker who is selling “21 Ways to be a Billionnaire in 21 days” and can quote all the lines and principles in the book to you off hand, but is still 6 solid digits shy of being a billionaire.

3. And then there are those who have SOUND KNOWLEDGE of PRINCIPLES. They have put these principles to work in their own lives, and have EXPERIENCED RESULTS for themselves.

Number 3.

Those are the people you should listen to.

From experiences, learn the right lessons. From failures and successes, learn the right principles. And get results.

So yes, experience is important- only when you learn the RIGHT LESSONS. It helps too to have RESULTS to show. And to understand the APPLIED PRINCIPLES that got you those results.

[to be continued]

…I VALue You!

AKPOVETA, Valentine ‘t

BB PIN: 567C4128
BB Channel PIN: C00214C5D

#Deep Thoughts 27


I can be very strict on certain issues. It is not uncommon sometimes, therefore, to have people try to coax me out of a decision I have taken by saying, “Ahn… But that’s not fair.” Almost always, I respond with something my close friends are very familiar with, “Life is not fair.”

You may have heard this too.

“This life is not fair”…

It is true. If you really observe, you would discover that life is not ‘fair’. “Good” people die young; “evil” people live long. “Innocent” people facing unjust wars; “wicked” people having open doors. Life is so unfair… Ok.

But this is a song sung by victims, for victims, amongst victims.

You see, perhaps the problem isn’t really about life being fair or not being fair. Maybe that’s not the problem. Maybe the problem is the broken definition of what we think “fair” should be. What we think we deserve.

I think it is fair that every man be free to hold his belief on the existence of God- or not. You think it is fair that anyone who doesn’t believe in God should be destroyed swiftly. I think that he who can work but would not work should not eat. You think it is fair that if someone comes begging, we should give them since they are “less-privileged”.

So which of us is fair?

* * *

Life is not fair. So what?

Life is not fair. Deal with it.

Life is not about fairness or giving you what you think you deserve. Life is about rules and principles. You understand and play by the rules, you get the consequences. You refuse to understand and ignore the rules, you get the consequences. Either ways, you choose what consequences you want.

Life is not hard. True. Life is not fair. True too. Life is life. Deal with it.

[to be continued]

…I VALue You!

AKPOVETA, Valentine ‘t

BB PIN: 564F98CE
BB Channel PIN: C00214C5D


I thought it was a beautiful work of art and told her so. I asked that she send me a copy and she did. But, with deadlines and pressing tasks, I did not immediately send her my evaluation or even confirm receipt. The next thing I knew, that evening, she had sent me a message that she knew the work was not that good and was perhaps inferior and maybe that was why I hadn’t responded. I was shocked.

                                                                                                – November, 2013

If anyone reading this has ever asked me for books to recommend, whether it’s general or more field-specific, there is one author I never miss recommending. Steven Covey. I think him one of the most important people to have lived- a great gift to humanity.

In his 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE, Habit 2 is ‘Begin with the End in Mind’. And he begins with Oliver Holme’s quote, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us”.

I am going to ask you to do a short-term projection. A very critical exercise. Probably very different from what you might have already done.

Visualise where you want to be by year’s end. Imagine that you are in December 2014, Imagine that you are writing everything you achieved in the past year 2014. What would you want to be in that list? If you can [and I’m sure you can] make an actual list now. But instead of writing in the future tense, write in the past tense. So rather than, “I want to start my new business” write “I started my new business and made XYZ amount of money.” [remember that you are writing in the future, in December 2014, what you HAVE achieved.] Now hold that thought. Stay with me, let’s move on.

For the better part of last year, I consciously took out time to forge relationships and lend my ears. In a number of those friendships, they told me things. Like the person in the story above which happened just two months ago, when I looked at all these people, I saw unique individuals with unique contributions to life. I didn’t see perfect people but I saw great people. But when some of these people opened up they told me they looked at themselves and saw ugly. They saw beat, and unwanted, fat and discarded. They saw poor and disadvantaged.

Yet, every one of these people had dreams.

And I tried. I really tried to make these people understand that you cannot consistently see yourself in a negative light and yet achieve positive results.

Why on earth should you settle for less than you are capable of and what you deserve? Why would you allow someone else or something else to define you and your realities? Why would you give someone the right to use, misuse and abuse you? Can you not open your eyes to the DNA of greatness wired within? Do you not understand the extent of the immense power you wield?

In you is the confluence of divinity. You are God’s gift to humanity. You are the definition of distinction. There is so much that you can do, that only you can do in the way only you can. You are awesomeness redefined. You are you and that’s the best you can be because not one single person else can be you. Do not deny us your unique contribution.

In this year, there are going to be ups and downs. You’ll probably make some mistakes and definitely have high points. In the ever-changing tides of fortune, you cannot afford not to have an anchor, a strong and positive definition of who you really are.

The truth is I consider Steven Covey a great gift. And I also consider you a great gift too. But it won’t matter what I think if you don’t think so too. Begin to walk in the knowledge of the divine within.

You have your list. You have your awesome self. You have 365 days.dude

Now, Your Excellency, Shall we begin?

AKPOVETA, Valentine ‘t

#DeepThoughts 22


If something was “hard” 19 years ago, and it is “easy” now, and yet it had ALWAYWhy would you invert and multiply to DIVIDE? IT MAKES NO SENSE.S been the same, then the only thing that changed was MY PERCEPTION of the problem.

You see, in this life, nothing really is difficult.

When you say something is hard, it is not a reflection of that thing. It is really a reflection of your inability, the acceptance of your limitation and the acknowledgement that, at YOUR level, in that space and time, you do not possess a solution.

When you have the solution to a problem, and the technical know-how of solving it; when you have the keys to unlock a challenge, what seemed “hard” becomes “easy”. But this wouldn’t be because the situation has changed, it was YOU who changed.

Keeping a man is unfeasible. Making money is hard. Getting a job is impossible. Loving my life is difficult. Succeeding in this business is bewildering. Pleasing her is unattainable.

All these things are really not hard. They may be for YOU, and that is because YOU do not understand it. But they are not, in themselves.

Basically, every problem has a solution. And until you find the solutions to your challenges, you will continue to be terrorised by them. But it won’t be because the situation has an inherent capacity to terrorise. It would be because you have not the capability to respond in a winning way.

What you need are answers. Which often come from methods. Which are revealed when you ask the right questions, to the right people.

I think it is high time we stopped griping and complaining of how things are hard, and start finding solutions to the challenges that face us.

Nothing is hard. Simple.

[to be continued]

…I VALue You!

AKPOVETA, Valentine ‘t

BB PIN: 567C4128
BB Channel PIN: C00214C5D


6 – 6 × 6 + 6 ÷ 6I wish I understood physics well enough to know if I just made an inadvertent joke about matter.

6 ÷ 6(6 + 6)

This morning, I gave out two relatively easy sums. I received quite a lot of interesting feedback with rather lovely answers.

The first was, in my opinion, the simpler of the two. But, if the responses were anything to go by, it wasn’t that simple.

The answer to the equation “6 – 6 × 6 + 6 ÷ 6” is straightforward. -29.

There is no issue there. It is not 1, or 0, or -31, or any other of the really funny answers I got.

* * *

Now, to the more interesting and, I believe, slightly more controversial question “6 ÷ 6(6 + 6)”

One person solves this equation and gets 12. They would interpret it as (6÷6)•(6+6). And they would be right.

Another person solves this very same equation, uses Distributive and Associative Laws and invokes a law that the implied multiplication outside of parentheses also gets parenthetical order priority over all other signs. So they would interpret the implied multiplied parenthetical as 6÷(6×(6+6)) and get 0.0833 or 1/12. And they would be right too.

BOTH these people would use their different calculators and put in the same input and yet come out with completely different answers. [Trust me, I tried myself and emerged with two answers on two different calculators]

And they would conclude that mathematics is hard. And confusing.

But the truth would be that the question itself, in the presented form, leaves room for ambiguity. The question is the question. The question is not the problem.

If there is a problem, therefore, it must be something else. More on this tomorrow.

How was your day?